It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
