if i can run in heels then i can drive
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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