So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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