Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
