You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
