His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
