6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
