I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
