I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
