she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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