your room smells of hookers.
And success
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
