Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
