i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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