it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
