Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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