No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
