Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
