Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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