Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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