entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize