My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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