Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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