i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize