My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
