Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
