woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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