if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I die, sorry about rent.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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