That's when you crack a 10am beer
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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