Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize