i was rollin on her like bob the builder
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
