I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
