After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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