i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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