well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
