would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize