I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
