One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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