I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I need water and some morals
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
