id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
