so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
