Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
