either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize