do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
