Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
