Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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