11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
