I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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