Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont even know how to be here
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
