It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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