Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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