I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
