I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize