What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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