we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
