Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
