Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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