It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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