the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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