Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
you made out with another girl for some wings
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