Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize