it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need a beard to bite.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
