After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
