he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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