Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
