She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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