I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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