Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I have post one night stand depression
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
