the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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