in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
