well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
