just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
